Friday night my hair all finally came out. After a very emotional lead up to shaving my head I quickly settled in to acceptance. It's really not so bad. Just COLD! Yowza! I really don't know how Mark and my brother (both of whom shave their heads regualarly) do it! They don't wear fancy scarves or anything!
I have started wearing scarves or skull caps most of the time now. And I'm rocking some pretty fancy earrings as well. And I never forget my lipstick if I'm leaving the house. The "getting ready" process is much shorter now, something I deeply appreciate!
Update on the nausea: I am finally feeling better! I lost 11 lbs in 14 days which (even if you're plus sized) isn't a good thing when undergoing chemo. My Doctor put me on a more regimetnted schedule of anti nausea meds and my sweet hubby brought me some Gingerale and miraculously, I wanted to eat! Thank you to all who have been bringing us meals or sending gift cards for meals! It just makes life a bit more simple for us and we deeply appreciate all of it!
I have been away from work for 3 weeks now. My students are going on a field trip tomorrow. My very favorite field trip of all time! And I won't experience it with them. I won't lie, I have shed a few tears over that! I miss my work. My students, their parents and caregivesr, my amazing co-workers, my bosses...everyone. I miss it. Which sucks! But then I remember that I am lucky enough to have a job that I love so much. I work in a place where I get to do what I love in the way I think best to do it with other likeminded professionals. Good stuff! So, one more reason to fight this nasty fight and get back in there! SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE DCP PEEPS! Much love!
I also have not been to church in several weeks. I don't think I could be in the building and not give or recieve hugs, and I just cannot risk illness. So, I listen online to Jeremy and other pastors. I miss Y'all! I love Y'all! I'll see you so soon!
Befor my last infusion the oncologist measured the tumors. They are shrinking! He said they would. I believed they would. I just didn't realize the results would come so quickly. I am so thainkful! All of this is much easier to manage knowing that it is doing what it is supposed to do in my body! With the help of Chemo and Jesus I am bigger and stronger than cancer! And with my bald head I look so tough! (Ha!) But really, it is working. I am thankful and blessed. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strenght. All things. Even this really sucky thing!
The dreaded MRI has finally been rescheduled. This Wednesday at 10 am. I keep telling myself an open MRI will be fine. The website says a loved one can come in and hold my hand if I am scared. Poor Mark is on deck for hand holding while I freak the heck out. I'll keep you posted on this fun event!
Infusion #3 on the 28th. With only 8 treatments I am almost half way there!
When you are here. I love this song! Have loved it for years. "Our eyes are fixed upon your face. Our hearts cry out come and have your way." I just ask him every day to show me his face. I can step if I can see his face. Freedom reigns and healing comes! What a blessing it is!
Mark and I and the kids have been so humbled and blessed by everyone who has reached out with words of encouragement, a product they think may be helpful in our situation, meals, boxes of cheerios, bottles of lotion, jars of pasta sauce and the hundred other things that have been delivered to us. Thank you so much for caring for me and my family in all of these ways. Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for you love. We are blessed and humbled and forever grateful! We hope to be able to repay it in kind one day!
Until next time, so much love, grace and peace!
Sunday, February 23, 2020
Thursday, February 6, 2020
Chemo and other fun discoveries!
6 days out of the first Chemo infusion. Lots has changed. Amazing how 4 hours in that chair can transform things!
The infusion center is quite peaceful. The chemo nurses are nothing short of heroes, showing up with smiles and encouragement all around. Lots of natural light, very lovely room. Mark and Bekah came along and we got through it. We had enough bags to have spent the weekend there! Ha! But we were prepared for almost any eventuality! We will learn. Next week we won't bring quite as much.
I met an amazing woman who was given one year to live back in 2003. She is beating the odds every day. We share an oncologist. We share a disease. We share a faith. It was very encouraging! I was able to hug her and pray with her before I left for the day.
The 3 days after chemo were not so fun. Pain was pretty present, although after the first 9 or 10 hours I was able to get it under control and was not so bad. Nausea was not a huge deal, but seems to be my constant companion, even now. But I am not "sick" really. Because I do better when I put food on my tummy. I just forget to eat (Imagine that! This plus sized girl just forgetting about food!) and when I forget to eat I get nauseous. And about 30 min after I eat I need to eat again or it all starts over. Saltines live in my purse and I have a bottle of Gatorade with me at all times now! It helps...a bit.
My hair is starting to get really dry and brittle. I'll shave it off early next week. Yep, that is gonna be hard. But hard is OK. I can do it.
I am a preschool teacher. I have been told by my doctors to "avoid sick people". If you have young children, know young children, have seen young children, you know that avoidance is not really a thing when it comes to illness. And I love those little people so much! I love to get on the floor with them, hold them in my lap, help them wipe their noses and wash their hands. I love to offer comfort when they are sad or sick or both. SO....Mark and I made the tough decision that I should take a short term disability. At least through flu season. I am so bummed. Again, I thought that I could be strong enough to just power through. It has nothing to do with strength. Everything to do with wisdom. So, I am out of the classroom for the next few weeks. I am sad about that! It just sucks! Just one more thing I am not able to control!
If you know me even a little, you know I have a deep, abiding love for coffee! Guess what??? Since Chemo I have had exactly half a cup. I can't get it down. I can't tolerate it when it is in my system. I have become a tea drinker.....what in the wide world of sports is going on here?!?! The whole world has, in fact, gone mad! Also, thank heaven for Earl Grey Tea. It has become such a comfort.
A very generous friend is paying someone to clean my house for a few weeks while I am undergoing chemo. They came today for the first time. Just an amazing little "God shot". They walked in and almost immediately told me they had been praying for my healing since they heard about my diagnosis. They asked to pray with me in the house. It was such a beautiful moment for me. Such a blessing and a wonderful reminder that God is still here. He is still in this. He is driving this boat. I can lose my hair, my ability to drink coffee, my desire for food, but I cannot shake him or his blessings! I never doubt it, but the random reminders are so wonderful and encouraging!
This journey is new and surprising and overwhelming and unknown. But I am thankful for life. Thankful for time with friends. Reconnecting with old friends who have reached out because of this. Deepening relationship with current friends because I am learning they just refuse to be anything but with me and supportive. Thanks to all who are on this journey with me! I am truly blessed!
Awake my soul to sing. Sing his praise aloud..... this song is new to me and I LOVE IT!!!
These verses have taken on new meaning.....
The infusion center is quite peaceful. The chemo nurses are nothing short of heroes, showing up with smiles and encouragement all around. Lots of natural light, very lovely room. Mark and Bekah came along and we got through it. We had enough bags to have spent the weekend there! Ha! But we were prepared for almost any eventuality! We will learn. Next week we won't bring quite as much.
I met an amazing woman who was given one year to live back in 2003. She is beating the odds every day. We share an oncologist. We share a disease. We share a faith. It was very encouraging! I was able to hug her and pray with her before I left for the day.
The 3 days after chemo were not so fun. Pain was pretty present, although after the first 9 or 10 hours I was able to get it under control and was not so bad. Nausea was not a huge deal, but seems to be my constant companion, even now. But I am not "sick" really. Because I do better when I put food on my tummy. I just forget to eat (Imagine that! This plus sized girl just forgetting about food!) and when I forget to eat I get nauseous. And about 30 min after I eat I need to eat again or it all starts over. Saltines live in my purse and I have a bottle of Gatorade with me at all times now! It helps...a bit.
My hair is starting to get really dry and brittle. I'll shave it off early next week. Yep, that is gonna be hard. But hard is OK. I can do it.
I am a preschool teacher. I have been told by my doctors to "avoid sick people". If you have young children, know young children, have seen young children, you know that avoidance is not really a thing when it comes to illness. And I love those little people so much! I love to get on the floor with them, hold them in my lap, help them wipe their noses and wash their hands. I love to offer comfort when they are sad or sick or both. SO....Mark and I made the tough decision that I should take a short term disability. At least through flu season. I am so bummed. Again, I thought that I could be strong enough to just power through. It has nothing to do with strength. Everything to do with wisdom. So, I am out of the classroom for the next few weeks. I am sad about that! It just sucks! Just one more thing I am not able to control!
If you know me even a little, you know I have a deep, abiding love for coffee! Guess what??? Since Chemo I have had exactly half a cup. I can't get it down. I can't tolerate it when it is in my system. I have become a tea drinker.....what in the wide world of sports is going on here?!?! The whole world has, in fact, gone mad! Also, thank heaven for Earl Grey Tea. It has become such a comfort.
A very generous friend is paying someone to clean my house for a few weeks while I am undergoing chemo. They came today for the first time. Just an amazing little "God shot". They walked in and almost immediately told me they had been praying for my healing since they heard about my diagnosis. They asked to pray with me in the house. It was such a beautiful moment for me. Such a blessing and a wonderful reminder that God is still here. He is still in this. He is driving this boat. I can lose my hair, my ability to drink coffee, my desire for food, but I cannot shake him or his blessings! I never doubt it, but the random reminders are so wonderful and encouraging!
This journey is new and surprising and overwhelming and unknown. But I am thankful for life. Thankful for time with friends. Reconnecting with old friends who have reached out because of this. Deepening relationship with current friends because I am learning they just refuse to be anything but with me and supportive. Thanks to all who are on this journey with me! I am truly blessed!
Awake my soul to sing. Sing his praise aloud..... this song is new to me and I LOVE IT!!!
These verses have taken on new meaning.....
Philippians 4:8-9 (NIV)
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
What is true in your world?
What is Noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy? Take a moment to mediate on those things right now! It is just so important!
May the God of peace be with you as he is with me!
Blessings!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)