It's been a long time. I've thought a lot about this blog spot and what I could or should say next. I said a copule of posts back, I am cancer free. I am! Walking out this journey, I worked to stay positive. I just knew I would get to this point. And now that I am here I am still processing those words, cancer free. Complete response to treatment. Clear margins. No need for radiation at this time. My life has been handed back to me and it is incredible! It is also overwhelming. I burst into tears of gratitude at the strangest times. In some ways I have no idea how to take this gift and make the most of it. I am not sure how to process the magnitude of the gift I have been given. Whew! Gratitude.
I have been able to go back to work and it is amazing! I've been back for a month and students just returned Wednesday. I have decided that to do my best to pour into the beautiful lives of these precious babies is one way I can make the most of the gift of life I have been given. So I show up and enjoy each day! Also, I'm worn out! Wow! My body was pretty broken down after chemo. I did not realize how weak I was. I have spent the last several weeks slowly working to build up my stamina again and the move into a place of strength again. I'm getting there! But dude...I'm tired at the end of the day!
The final phase of this journey is my reconstruction surgery. I do not yet have a date, but we are getting closer. Skin expanders are full and in place, I know now from my oncologist what is required and I just need to make the appointment with my plastic surgeon. It will be sometime this year. We have met our deductible with our insurance and are bound and determined to just get all of this done in the same calendar year! (: I'll keep you posted. ( I know you're all waiting on pins and needles for these updates!)
Doing all of this in the midst of COVID is also very odd. I am on three medications that compromises my immune system. It's not qute how it was during chemo, but it is suppressed. And while my doctors all encourage me to work and live my life they also encourage me to be careful. So, Mark and I have made the decision to go to work and then mostly quarantine at home. Outside of work we Zoom with friends and family. We have not been to church in months and won't be able to go for at least a few more. In Colorado churches are open and our home church has been holding in person services for weeks. We miss you all! I miss live worship! But I do know I am not alone in that. Many people are in the same boat. I'm not complaining, just telling the truth.
I woke up the other day with this passage in my heart, "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness!" Lamentations 3:21&22. It is so true. New every morning! I am thankful. I am blessed.
There was another in the fire standing next to me. There was another in the waters holding back the seas.
It has been on loop in my brain and heart for over a month now. Mark got a tattoo journaling his part of this journey (my EKG from surgery spiraling down his arm) and he plans to get these words tattooed next. When he told me about it I absolutely crumbled. It is the perfect description of this journey.
I hope it helps encourage you. I hope it reminds you that you are not alone in whatever fight you are in!
Until next time, many blessings and much love!
